contemplating moment~

Honestly, the toughest part of leaving NJ, packing up lock, stock and barrel, was leaving Tapestries of Hope, the very heart of my daily life.  I loved the interaction with all the daughters who had joined us, and speaking constantly to new daughters who wanted to join one of our groups. Planning monthly meetings, checking in with everyone, providing bereavement support on the phone, brainstorming creative ideas for groups, doing the admin part of it (which I never really cared for, if I’m being totally honest here!) It filled my days and many of my evenings.  So, stepping down from all of that gave me a bit of a ripping sensation in my heart, in many ways….

Well, I’m here to tell you now, I am just as busy with the doings of TOH as I’ve ever been!  And, the longer I’m gone, the busier I seem to get (and there are no complaints here with that).  This has all been not just a letting go, but opening up.  Officially my position is “outreach/support”, though I’ve never really defined what that means, other than the obvious.  I am open to wherever that takes me-the only thing I DO know about it is that I want to always be in contact, one way or another, with both the daughters of TOH back East, and the daughters who have joined us through our website or fb page.  And, lo and behold, has it all opened up! I spend so much time on the phone, talking to daughters, emailing, and providing direction to our groups, etc, coming up with new ideas (that will never stop, I’m sure!), providing support to our new Prez, Alisa, and our VP, Charlene-who knew it would grow this way with me?

Here’s what has been so astounding to me-I was, for so long, afraid of the computer, but, at this point, you’d never know it.  This traveling life has been wonderful for the ways it pushed me and my most amazing husband-we fairly LEAPED into the 21st century by finally getting cell phones, we each have a laptop, I learned to text, I have a personal fb page and a TOH page to administer, the TOH website….and oh, the things I have learned from doing that! No fear here anymore! Though I can tell you that, when I do something wrong, and I ask for Handsome Husband’s help, and he asks what I did, I don’t really have the language to tell him so I generally say, well, I just started clicking buttons, and hope he can figure it out.  Fortunately, no huge disasters yet with anything, for which, believe me, I am eternally grateful!!

So, here is my life lesson that I am happy to pass along to all of you wonderful readers of my blog here (and I know you will appreciate this, right?)–letting go can be hard to do, but if you let go AND open up, there is NO telling what lovely things can happen, and I continue to find that out.  I have so many daughters now that I am in contact with in so many ways, and, had I stayed in NJ, doing what I was doing, I don’t know that it would have ever gotten to this point.  I love it!  I am fully immersed in my new life, and living a new adventure everyday, feeding my heart in all the ways it needs through continuing to live my passion of supporting bereaved daughters, from, well, EVERYWHERE, in this country.  Life, I LOVE you!!

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