a bottom line moment-Grief Sucks!

Grief is much on my mind at this moment, due to my dear friend Rhoda.  I know I can’t be the only one who wonders at why such horrible things happen to good people-she went through hell and hell, and back again, in dealing with the frickin’ cancer, did terribly damaging treatments that almost killed her, only to be hit again with yet another cancer.  And  I’ll read something in the news about a serial murderer or a child molester who, yes, might have been in prison, but died peacefully instead of getting a painful death that was called for due to a life lived miserably and hurtfully to those around him.  And a woman who was kind, and sweet and loving, died after being ravaged by everything that could be thrown at her.  I’m really not alright with that, just in case god or the gods are wondering..

I’ve facilitated many grief support groups over the years, and what I know is that we can provide all sorts of education about the grief process, seek meaning in it, do all the stuff that you do so that you can get through it as whole as possible.  But, you know what the bottom line of all of it is?  Grief Sucks. And not only does it suck, it sucks the big one.  Death is a part of life, I know that-it is our only way out of this world.  Got it. But all the feelings that come with saying goodbye to someone you love are hard.  And I am so sad that sweet Rhoda is not here on this earth with me any longer. She’s okay now, I believe that. But, ultimately, grief isn’t about the one who died-its about us, and, in this case, about me and how my world has changed.  So selfish, yes?  Don’t care-I’m going to be selfish, and let this run through me, and know that I will find peace in my heart with it at some point.  Right now, I’m not so okay, but I’m okay with that too.  A process, oh, goody, I say to myself.  And, even sorrowing, I am so very grateful that she was in my life for the time she was.  You will always have a place in my heart, sweet angel sister…

Always remembered-

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