the continuing saga of my brain~

So, surgery is set for 7:15 AM-Handsome Husband will be the 2nd surgery of the day, which is good. The doctor will be fresh and bright-eyed.  And my wonderful friend Natalie, who is as a sister to me, is going the extra mile to get up at the butt crack of dawn to drive over here and go with us to the hospital to keep me company.  And I’m taking my hoop and IPOD, just in case there is room for me to de-stress by hooping, which I’m sure there will be.  So all of this is good.  All the required testing this week was done in much quicker time than we had thought it would be, and it is all coming together. And he’s getting surgery first thing, so we don’t have to wait throughout the day.

But wait! says my brain.  Hang on a second! Yes, its excellent that Handsome Husband is second on the docket.  But didn’t I hear someone say in the past week that surgeries are scheduled according to their seriousness?  I can’t remember if I actually heard someone say that or if my brain is making it up.  So, does that mean that this is really serious, in spite of my other brain saying its’ no big deal?   Does the dr know something we don’t know?  And, yes, blah, blah, blah, and its like my brain is a horse in the Kentucky Derby, running full-out, hugging the corners, breathless, sweating….you get the picture.  Exhausting to be me sometimes!  I think some of the brain exhaustion comes from the fact that I am keeping the calmness going while, simultaneously, being wired for sound, and holding those two things together, racing together at the same pace….

Oh, and then, of course, there is the thinking that tells me, “O, come on, Alison, for God’s sake, stop making such a fuss about this!  (Self-sufficient me is even struggling with having anyone go with me tomorrow-shouldn’t I be just perfectly okay on my own?) But the other part of me, who has always gone through things alone in my life, says, “for God’s sake, Alison, let others support you!”  Jebus Cripes, I’m all over the place, aren’t I?!!

So, which horse is going to win, folks?  Its either going to be a no big deal surgery, or a big deal outcome.  Either way, at least this waiting will be done, and that’s a good thing.  Too bad stress doesn’t burn calories-I’d come out of this a size 2….


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