So, to get away from the whole cancer thing, at least briefly. On Tuesday, I had my own medical moment. I did the best thing I’ve ever done-ever. A good friend of mine had told me about this very cool thing that I could do so that I could put a period to my period, a kibosh on the whole thing.
*if you are male, and uncomfortable with this subject, please stop here*.
I am so over the whole female monthly thing (is that a delicate enough way to describe it)? Over my visits from Aunt Flo (which I never once said!), the curse (though I did frequently curse it). Since, if you are going to be a real writer, the same as if you are going to be a real comedian, then nothing is sacred, I am going to go ahead and write about this, because, without building up too high expectations for myself….SISTER, I AM GOING TO BE A WHOLE NEW WOMAN AND HAVE A WHOLE NEW LIFE!
My dear, most wonderful friend/angel sister, Natalie, took me to the hospital for this procedure, as my dearest Handsome Husband was gallivanting in Philly, getting radiation treatment, followed by a CAT scan for his chest and knee, so clearly, he was unable to accompany me. From the moment of check-in/registration, I couldn’t have been more pleased with how I was treated. Being an affirmed coward when it comes to pain and how I might be experiencing it at some point, I had a little anxiety, but that was quickly done away with when they explained to me that I would be happily unaware of any pain, on account of the fun drugs they would dose me with. Yes! and it was all good from there-
Now, all of you who know me, know that, with my new life in the last almost two years, my main topic of conversation is either “Happily Homeless” or “Tapestries of Hope”. But, honestly, I don’t always bring those things up myself. They just come up in conversation. In this case, this nice young nurse, as she was hooking me up to various things preparatory to going into surgery, asked me, in making talk, where I lived, etc. So, of course I had to tell her about HH. Followed by how I stay very much connected to my peeps here in NJ because of TOH. Followed by an explanation of what we do in Tapestries, and how many daughters are connected with it, etc. And I hadn’t gone too much into it when she very quietly mentioned that her mom had died when she was only 4. So, you know, I had to respond to that, and we had some very moving, intense moments. And of course, you know the tears had to be falling, understandably. I told her about my friend Natalie who was with me, and her mom’s name, and my mom’s name, and asked her mom’s name, because isn’t that what its’ all about? She was so sweet, and my heart just went out to her, and I invited her to join our website, and one of our groups, and she apologized for her tears, saying she never cried in front of patients, and I had no reason to doubt her. It was, in spite of the tears, a lovely moment. I was able to make her laugh again when she said I had to take a pregnancy test. After I had picked myself up from the floor from laughing so hard, I told her if it came out positive, not only did we need to look around to see if we could locate the Holy Spirit, as that would be the only way I could possibly be preggo, but that I would have to change my name to Mary, and, instead of going home at the end of the day, the ambulance could just drop me off at Hampton hospital, because I’d clearly go over the edge…(2 sterilization operations years ago, the first one being a failure and accounting for my youngest son Nick (love you, dude!)
Flash forward to post-op. I came to, feeling warm and toasty, with soft blankets covering me, and my post-op nurse asking after me. She was wonderful, giving me what drugs I needed to make me comfortable. As she would check with me, seeing if I was truly coming to, we would talk, and somehow being HH came up, and my husband being retired Air Force came up, at which she told me about her son who was a Marine and currently deployed to Afghanistan. She showed me a picture of him so that I could put a face to the name, and we talked about the heightened adrenalin that was her new normal, and some other things having to do with that, and, next thing you know, she’s wiping tears away, and apologizing to me, because she never, no, never, cries in front of patients. Which I had no cause to doubt, and I told her I’d left my pre-op nurse over in rm 2, also in tears after telling me about her mom and our conversation about grief.
Sometimes I just have that effect on people. I don’t take any credit for this particular talent of mine-clearly, people have tears to cry, and I am simply the vehicle to make it happen. Kind of a conduit, yes? But, in spite of the tears, I do always leave them laughing too, so I see it through, folks! I was giving everyone of them hugs, and they were telling me how sweet I was, and it was, in general, a feel-good fest. And, at the end of the day, what I know, is I never have to have another period, and I am happy, happy, happy! I have heard women in the past say that they weren’t looking forward to the whole menopause thing, ’cause they would feel less of a woman, blah, blah. Are you kidding me? NOW, or at least soon as I heal up, is when I am going to start living my life as I’ve never been able to live it before!! Can you spell C-E-L-E-B-R-A-T-E?!! Can I put a page full of explanation points that will begin to convey my absolute, overwhelming joy at having done this? I may even become an evangelist with this procedure. Ladies, don’t wait-call your gyn today, and get that rolling! Run, as fast as you can and get it done! Done having kids? Don’t wait! We love the little buggers, but, hell, let’s git ‘er done!! I am happy, happy, and the conga line of celebration is now forming….