DIS-com-bob-U-lated moments…yet….ok…

I have, at least for the moment, come in permanently off the ledge.  No more having to be talked down, or off-I am calm.  We’ve had good news re this Wilson character who has become a prime-time actor in our lives, but he is soon, hopefully, to meet his demise, to lose his spot, to be history.  Once amputation was no longer an option, I could feel my blood pressure (which, in reality, has stayed as low as it ever has been, which is a very good low),  go to normal.  Wilson started reacting to the “Hiroshima” doses of radiation recommended by the docs, and, though there is still ulceration and the sunburn effect of the treatment, and dryness and itching, etc, it all just seems that much more bearable.  The biggest change, for me, is watching this most special man in my life, my dearest husband, and seeing how he’s handling all of this, with a “just do what needs to be done” mentality, seeing him practicing his spirituality, and meeting all the other radiation patients in the hospital on a daily basis, and realizing, in the midst of this, how we are, in such a truly and thankfully, clich-aed way (that is so my own word!) so blessed.  I think, no matter what goes on in life, you can always find someone worse off than you, and, while you may not wish that upon anyone, at the same time, you know it happens, and, ultimately, you really can say, “well, at least….” and go from there….

Wilson will meet his ultimate demise on March 9 in a complicated-to-me, but probably routine-to-the docs, surgery.  Removing him will take not much more than an hour, and then the reconstruction doc will take over and copy and paste, beg, borrow and steal, tendons, nerves, blood vessels, skin, the kitchen sink, who knows what else, and rebuild Handsome Husband’s wrist from his thigh and calf. (which will take another 4-5 hours) If nothing else, we are living at the right time for all of this to be able to happen.  A one week hospital stay will follow…

It feels unsettling to me, to be here in NJ, indefinitely, yet not-here, in that we don’t live here anymore, we don’t have a home-base, we are living out of suitcases. It is all too familiar, which is handy for getting about, but too familiar, with all that we hoped to leave behind us when we moved (traffic, congestion, build-up).  And yet, we are surrounded by nothing but love in the community we have here, and, once again, we are beyond grateful for that!  When we are again “Happily Homeless“, it will almost be like starting anew, which can be a good thing, as we have worked out the kinks of that new lifestyle, and we will have all that much more enthusiasm, because we had the adventure, we had to almost settle down again, and we will once more be out on the road-and my joy will know no bounds!  In the meanwhile, yes, DIS-com-bob-U-lated, and need to be BOB-u-lated, but trying, as never before, to stay in this exact moment, and hold onto all the beauty that we have in front of us….


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