Hey, dear readers, apparently I have just enough notoriety to merit negative emails and response posts on my Happily Homeless face book page!
I’m reminded of an episode of Seinfeld (I think it was that show), where Jerry had a stalker and his buddies were upset because they felt that they merited stalker status also, yet they didn’t have one of their own. I’m not saying I have a stalker. Just saying that there are a few people out there who don’t like me. Wow. Little ol’ me?
I’ve tossed around the idea of giving time to this but honestly, it kind of hits my funny bone and god knows I need some humor in my life amidst this fucking grief. Oh, sorry. I have an official hater who called me vulgar. Apparently she doesn’t understand the placement of a well-placed “fuck” as an adjective. Let me state here that I don’t use that word in anger, I don’t call people names but I do use it to emphasize strong feelings and emotions. Ok?
Also, I believe in being up-front. I didn’t block this particular person from my HH fb page because, well, she adds spice. Or something.
Here’s her story as I understand it: She, whoever she is, (her fb page identifies her as being a (probably) photo stock picture from North Dakota. The rest of the story is that she bears an unhealthy attachment to Handsome Husband’s ex-wife, whom she accuses me of dissing on a continual basis. What set her off was a picture that I posted of me and my husband on what would have been our 24th anniversary. I included a caption that said words to the effect of he and I particularly appreciated our marriage and felt blessed to have found each other after having come through unhappy first marriages. Horrors! There was a very quick post in response, telling me that I’d insulted his first wife and that he had a life and family before he married me. (in case I didn’t know?)
She also accused me of wanting to basically exploit my husband’s death by writing a book about my life with him and our Happily Homeless travels and his time in hospice and this new life I’m striving to create. Exploit? How does one exploit one’s own story by telling it to the world?
Here’s the thing. When I write, I don’t write for drama. I’ve always written because I love to write. I need to get the words out of me and out there. I’ve always written to touch base with friends and family about our travels and what Handsome Husband and I were doing and learning. I wrote, when he went into hospice, to free the words from my heart and soul so that I wouldn’t implode (though I suspect this person would like to see that happen). Since his death, I write because yeah, you know what? Grief is not seen in our culture. Those who grieve are given a short amount of time to go through it and then told to move on. Once a few months pass, we’re expected to move on and kind of just keep it to yourself, okay? Guess what? It isn’t that easy and I’m putting a face on what grief is and using this forum as an educational tool and I’m not going away. (Oh, she also was upset that people apparently don’t know that I am, as she put it, a grief expert. Which I’m not-I was a grief facilitator-but thank you for the promotion and maybe I can quote you if I ever try to get a hospice job again which I can’t because I don’t have a degree. Anyways.)
This blog, and my HH fb page, are my conduits to the world as I travel, both physically and emotionally. The physical roads, on my Odyssey of Love, and the emotional world, as I grieve my husband. It’s a hard, painful, soul-wrenching, impossible, knife-slashing, world, this grief, full of tears and guts and blood and shrieking and love and remembering and yearning and desperation.
And I own it. This is mine. Not anyone else’s.
So, yes, I say to the haters out there. I will blatantly state here that I fully intend to write a book about this life of mine with Handsome Husband. I’m going to write about sharing my life with him, my love story with him, his death, my life now. And I’m going to speak about it too, in lecture series and you tube videos and by being on the news and sharing my story and any other way I can do it. Because I loved him then and love him still and that’s pretty much what’s on my mind. To you, this person, let me freak you out even more. I hope that someday this will be an entire career for me and that it will bring me an income (which, because I live in the real world, I, um..need). Shocked yet?
I don’t understand the whys or the wherefores of why people have been, and continue to be, drawn to our story, the story of Happily Homeless, our love story and how I’m continuing it. Clearly, it resonates with so many of you because, well, you’re here reading it and you talk to me out on the road and all of you tell me it does.
Handsome Husband would tell me to go for it. He knew before he died that I would do something with this, that I would make it count somehow. And, by god, I will. Our love story won’t die with him. Our love was….is….bigger than death. I’m going to create such a life for myself, based on the love he and I had (sorry, hater, it isn’t based on the love he and his ex had), that he will, wherever he is, be applauding madly for me.
Go get your own love story. And, because I don’t want to be vulgar, at least in this case, I’ll just say……go bless yourself~
P.S. Here’s a picture of the two of us that should really bother you~ (gasp! He’s hugging me as if we’re happily married or something!)