32.

It’s how old I am today. And once again, is very bittersweet. It is the second year I celebrate without hearing my dad’s voice on the other end of the phone, wishing me a happy birthday. My 32nd year also happens to coincide with Memorial Day. A day when I used to honor and remember others who have fallen, but now have to remember my dad as well. Like I said, bittersweet.

I knew going in that my thirties were going to be transformational- and have thus far proven to be just that. My dad died just shy of my 31st birthday and I am less than a month away from hitting the road with my mom for 6 months. It will be a test of our relationship. It will test my relationship with my husband, it will push my boundaries, and I suspect I will reach a deeper revelation and understanding of who I am as a whole. I am leaving behind everything that is familiar to journey into unknown territory. Don’t get me wrong, I am really excited and open to what may unfold, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I’m also a bit nervous.

Life is in flux. I suppose it always is in some form or another. However, I have noticed that recently these changes seem to occur in a major life altering kind of way, around my birthday. Which kind of makes sense. Birthdays are about change. And growth (hopefully). The more adaptable you can be, the easier life cruises by. As my dad always said, “It’s not about what happens to you, it’s about how you choose to handle it”. And it’s true (though I often would have to stop myself from rolling my eyes). There has been much change throughout my life- some good, some not so good, but each moment has helped shape me.

So today, I honor me, I honor my dad, I honor the moments often found in transitional spaces. I will spend my day laughing, continue opening my heart, enjoy my family and friends, dance, and love just a little bit more.

 

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