So here I sit some 30,000+ feet in the air on my return flight to the east coast. A week with my husband was packed full but didn’t seem long enough. But really, how much time is ever enough time with the one you love most of all? Relaxation filled our days, abundant sunshine and laughter charged my soul, kisses and closeness kept my heart beating a little faster. It was easy to fall back into patterns of married life- as if we hadn’t been apart for 72 days. And I’m going to be honest, part of me didn’t want to leave “us” again.
There are some who may think us a bit on the crazy side. And after this week, part of me agrees with them. Why would I choose to spend this time away from my husband? Truly, it was difficult getting back on an airplane knowing I would be flying many miles further away from him and our life. Again (it was hard enough the first time I did it over 2 months ago!). My thoughts immediately shift to my mom and how she would give anything to have another moment with my dad. She has expressed her absolute and complete awe of me and what I have been willing to do in order to spend this time on the road with her. However, I guess when it comes right down to it, in a way none of this has to do with my husband. It’s almost a separate issue. Almost.
This is one of those life altering experiences that I feel is something I must do. It is simply a part of my big picture. I don’t yet fully understand what it all means, but there are the obvious reasons. Certainly this is a time that I will look back on and be forever grateful for. My mom and I are learning the ins and outs of one another. Our relationship has become more about two women traveling together rather than just mom and daughter. We are learning how we work and communicate with each other. I am learning more about my strengths and ability to love in the midst of heartache and grief. It’s not easy. It’s definitely not always enjoyable. Frankly, sometimes it downright sucks and I just want to be home in the arms of my husband. And yet, I will see this Odyssey of Love through because it’s just one of those things that I am here to do.
These moments fill me with a sense of, well, everything- sadness, anticipation, compassion, love, determination, missing-ness, grief, joy…there are still so many people to meet and see, so many more hugs and stories to be shared, and experiences to be had between Connecticut and Arizona. Our plan right now is to arrive back in the land of eternal sunshine sometime just before Christmas. With that will likely bring a whole other blog about expectations and realizations for life AFTER life on the road. My husband and I have started that conversation. Nothing was ultimately decided, but the conversation was opened up.
A whole lot can evolve in four months. So dear readers, I do hope you continue to follow along. I send out my gratitude to those who have stayed with all of us along this journey, and I look forward to “meeting” those who have yet to find us.
Nothin’ But Love.