This Odyssey-and Magical People~

They seek me out.  I’ve no need to find a psychic or a medium and pay for them to fish in my life in order to give me reassurances about Handsome Husband or what I’m doing.  Not that I’ve ever been tempted; I’m actually kind of suspicious of anyone who receives payment in return for telling us about our loved ones.  Not that I have a problem with the entrepreneurial spirit at all-it’s just that in the case of psychics, I always figure that they’re very good with reading people and cast out such generalities that someone in the audience is bound to connect.

Here’s the thing.  Since I began this Odyssey of Love, following Handsome Husband’s death, there have been people I would term either intuitives, or actual angels (sometimes), who have sought me out, and the things they tell me leave me, most often, breathless with their accuracy.

My daughter and I are in Key West and while wandering Duval St yesterday, we chanced upon a shop and entered on a whim to browse.  She quickly found a few articles of clothing that are perfect for hooping and went to the dressing room while I continued to check the racks.  The proprietor, (Leslie by name, as we discovered), had been very friendly, bidding us hello as we came into her shop.  But nothing more, really.

Until.

As I moved hangars around on the rack, Leslie, who was standing not far from me, looked over at me and said You’ve been through a devastating change recently, haven’t you?  I was startled and didn’t reply immediately and she went on to say  You know you’re okay, don’t you?  Even though you don’t feel as if you are.  You’re okay.  And whatever it is that you’re doing, you need to continue doing it.  You’re on the right path.

She spoke to me for maybe another 20 minutes and I said nothing.  Really there was nothing for me to say;  I was just trying to take it all in.  At one point I almost reached for Rae’s hand to steady myself because there was a buzzing sound in my ears and I was actually seeing stars dance in front of my eyes.  Ultimately, I told her of my husband’s death and my Odyssey of Love and showed her a picture of my rig.  She was more than ever convinced of her message to me.   She told me (paraphrasing) that she had become aware of the energy around me when I entered her shop and felt compelled to speak to me and tell me what she did.  We left the store after an hour, with my head still reeling.  I didn’t seek her out.  I solicited nothing.  No money exchanged hands.  I’d never seen her before.

Last year as I made my way along the FL Gulf coast, as I took a break from driving at a Target store, an employee in the women’s section complimented me on my pink shirt and this led into a discussion of the color pink and my rig, etc.  We weren’t too far into the conversation when she took both my hands in hers and very earnestly said to me I have the ability to see things, and I want you to know that you are surrounded by angels.  They are all around you.

I’ve already written of the woman I met in NJ last year who, having no knowledge of my life, of Handsome Husband (other than to know that he had died and we’d traveled together), took my hands and looked directly into my eyes and said He wants me to tell you that he wouldn’t leave you without a road map.  And many other things that were…well…true.

I don’t know what to think about any of this, except to say that, as Handsome Husband was in hospice, I knew that something big was going on.  Not just his death, as huge as that was, and is.  But something bigger than his death and the grief that ran with it.  I termed it as something magical because I didn’t know what other word to use.

All I know, since he died, all I believe in, is that he and I were very much in love and I have to believe that the love is still present and that is what fuels me each and every day as I drive this Odyssey for him.  Meeting the people I have, being approached by messengers, the affirmations I receive from them, the messages they deliver to me, at no prompting from me…that is the magic and I can’t explain it but I know, I know, and I know, that I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing.  I don’t have much money and I wonder if I should fret and worry about it running out, as it will soon, and I’m new to this full-time trailer life-style, and there is so much that could freak me out.  And yet, it doesn’t.  I don’t know why;  I’ve always worried about money.  Always.  Except now.  Not because I think money will magically appear in front of me, but because I know that this Odyssey is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing and it will be okay somehow.

Our younger son, Fireman Nick, when I told him about yesterday, said to me, Ma, Pop said he wouldn’t leave you without a road map and he never broke his word.

This type of thing never happened to me prior to Handsome Husband’s death.  Never.  But even I can’t ignore that, in this Odyssey of Love, magic is very much afoot.  Somehow.

Love.  Grief.  Magic.  The open road…to what?

10151125_642655059122765_1247848368_n

 

Advertisements

15 thoughts on “This Odyssey-and Magical People~

  1. Alison,

    My husband lived three days after he was stricken, when he was without meaningful brain activity and taken off life support. I also experienced the feeling of “something big”, as his death became inevitable, and am convinced that the soul, along with the love and bond between two people, survive the death of the body. Something that occurred at the moment my husband died I will share with you when we meet at some point, down our respective roads. 🙂

    Your husband died comparatively slowly to mine, who was there one moment and essentially gone the next….his heart resumed beating some 35 or so minutes later, but he never regained consciousness. We were 900+ miles from home, and I am absolutely certain that he co-piloted me as I drove our little motorhome back to Illinois….guiding me, comforting me, protecting me, helping me plan his funeral, comfort his children, etc. Not only did I feel him there, but he would never, ever, have let me make that drive alone.

    Nearly 8 months later, our love and bond to each other has successfully made the transition from “here” to “there”. I feel it, and it helps me. I know that our loved ones don’t leave us, except in their physical form. Know and believe that, trust in it, be comforted by it.

    Very special people seem to find us when we need them most, that’s what I have experienced. Special people have found you, knew what you needed, and reached out to you. Not a coincidence.

    Key West was a favorite place of ours, my husband being a big Hemingway fan. Be well and travel safe.

    • Thank you, Maggie, for your words. I wish so desperately that I felt Chuck’s presence but I know, too, that I’m looking for it in ways that can only be possible if he were in his physical body. I just don’t know how to get from here to there, so to speak.

      Sending love to you~
      alison

      • Alison, I came to a point a couple of months ago where I realized I was aching every day for some “sign” from him, that he was still around….not just aching, but asking, begging, looking, looking. If there were signs he was still around, then he wasn’t really gone and I wasn’t really alone, wasn’t really without him. I felt almost immobilized, and so stuck, so I worked hard at letting go, telling him I wanted him to get on with whatever work his spirit life entailed, spend time with his dad, who died when he was 3 and who he missed desperately all of his life, also his Grandparents, high school friends who had died young, etc. And, to please come back to visit when he could, send me a sign when he had a moment. I worked hard at not asking for nor looking for “signs”, then realized several weeks ago that I had accomplished this. I no longer look, and rarely ask, yet find him in certain things and music that appear, and that bring me right back to him and our life together. I believe that at least some of those are from him…..so, I smile, say Hi, honey, and feel warm and loved inside. For me, it came from belief and trust in his soul survivng the death of his body. I am a spiritual person, but not a religious person, and have had people happen upon me in the last 8 months who have helped with this. It sounds like you have had these people, as well. They do just find us. They are meant to, and perhaps they are sent. 🙂 Believe. 🙂 Be well, be strong, Alison.

  2. Sounds so magical, Alison….so spiritual. I lost my husband in July 2012, and so very much of what I read on today’s blog are the same feelings I have within myself still after 2 years and 3 months. The “withoutness” as you called it is so very poignant, so fitting. A perfect word to describe that hollow feeling of being alone, feeling like half of you is missing, Like you, I also have very little money and it’s my biggest stressor right now that it will run out. I have gotten a job, but it’s not enough to pay all the bills. But I talk to my husband every day and ask him to watch over me and to put in a good word for me with God. Before my husband died he promised to watch over me. I pray that he is keeping his promise. I do believe he is. As you know, it’s just something that you feel inside.

  3. Sounds so magical, Alison….so spiritual. I lost my husband in July 2012, and so very much of what I read on today’s blog are the same feelings I have within myself still after 2 years and 3 months. The “withoutness” as you called it is so very poignant, so fitting. A perfect word to describe that hollow feeling of being alone, feeling like half of you is missing, Like you, I also have very little money and it’s my biggest stressor right now that it will run out. I have gotten a job, but it’s not enough to pay all the bills. But I talk to my husband every day and ask him to watch over me and to put in a good word for me with God. Before my husband died he promised to watch over me. I pray that he is keeping his promise. I do believe he is. As you know, it’s just something that you feel inside.

      • Alison. I tried to post earlier but I don’t think it went, so forgive me if I repeat myself. I want you to know- the encounter you had in the little shop with Leslie- you described a ‘buzzing’ sensation in your head and the air about you seemed ‘starry’. That was him, Alison. He was there. Sometimes you may feel a warmth, or a faint caress of breeze when he kisses you. He is right beside you. You just can’t see him, but he sees you…

  4. I know what you mean. Yesterday, I found out that a new-ish friend of mine inherited a house not 30 miles from the lake where my husband asked me to scatter a part of his ashes. So, she’s going to help me with getting that done. Something I’d never have been able to do on my own, getting his ashes to Alaska. Magic. What other word is there?
    Sending you love

  5. More Love and more Magic, Angels among us. Continue with what God has set before you. You are allowing those who are in the know to recognize the angels and to be blessed as well. Love you Diane

Talk to me~

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s